The countless sexual assault allegations against prominent Hollywood producer and “couch caster” Harvey Weinstein have rocked the manosphere. #metoo twitter campaigns have given countless women cover to fashionably claim victim status. From Weinstein, Cosby, to Bill O’Reilly, prominent men are falling everyday as a result of sex related accusations. The butchery continues.
Make no doubt, Weinstein’s behavior was inexplicable, inappropriate and bizarre. (A TV journalist claims Weinstein masturbated in front of her into a plant). But many aspiring actresses also sought his fame and attention to propel their careers; putting themselves into compromising situations and “meetings” in hotel rooms with a self-admitted sex addict.
No matter what you believe about the Weinstein accusations, the message is clear — NO MAN (no matter how rich or famous) is safe from allegations of sexual assault and harassment. Women have ultimate power to levy these accusations, and the asymmetrical nature of relationships between men and women virtually guarantees women the upper hand in using these allegations to destroy men for game.
Here are 5 important lessons Men should take away from the Weinstein debacle:
(1) Never date a woman from work or one who has a financial expectation from you or your partners in a business environment. If the relationship goes south, or the woman no longer needs you, she may sue for a lot of money in a sexual harassment lawsuit and/or protect her career by making false accusations. Women routinely use sexual harassment allegations for career security, lucrative settlements, or to gain attention.
(2) Never initiate sexual activity with a girl you hardly know. One night stands with strange women, no matter how attractive, are simply not safe for men anymore. What was once considered a consensual relationship the night before, can now be labeled “rape” or “sexual assault” the next day or 10 years later. Prostitutes may now feel safe coming out and making allegations as well, since nobody seems to care what women do and they are rarely punished anyways.
(3) Don’t think that just because you are spending money on women they will be grateful to you. Once a predatory woman has extracted her benefits from you and is no longer interested in having you as a long term sexual partner, or you dump her, she can quickly turn on you and destroy you if it provides her cover against shame, insecurity or regret.
(4) Don’t try to impress women. Men are accustomed to bending over backwards to court women and impress them with their masculinity, wealth or resources. Why bother? Trying to overly impress a woman, or communicate your strong needs or desires for her can be construed in this environment as an unwanted sexual advance or gesture, later turning into full out legal harassment or assault claims.
(5) Be polite and gentlemanly with attractive women, but let them pursue you. Remember the cardinal rule, if you have wealth, power, talents or any desirable or useful characteristics, attractive women will naturally pursue you, even ones with their own wealth, fame and talents. The key to avoiding allegations of harassment and assault in the digital age, is to let them text you, reply politely, arrange dates where there are witnesses and develop a record of consensual advances by her.
In the Greek story of the Odyssey, the adventurer Odysseus and his men were lured by the “sirens”, women so beautiful that their very songs and enticements could lead a man to ruin. Odysseus had to plug his sailors ears with beeswax and strap himself to the mast of the ship to prevent himself and his men from being lured to their death.
Weinstein’s mega-Hollywood success and fall is an unfortunate reminder to all Men. Temptations by the siren of attractive women can lead to compromising situations. In order to avoid life destroying allegations of harassment, sexual assault and rape, like Odyssesus, sometimes Men have to tie ourselves to our mast and sail on.