Are more Men going solo?  There has been a lot of talk about single mothers and women putting off marriage until their thirties or forties as part of the new “women’s liberation movement”.  But, no one is really talking about Men going solo.  Here are some important reasons why it makes sense to go solo as a Man:

  1. Increased freedom –  Going solo allows you to date who you want and spend your money however you want.  The value of freedom, financial, emotional and legal, cannot be underestimated.
  2.  Common Law Marriage Traps –  Did you know in some states if you cohabit with your girlfriend for certain length of time that state can declare that you are in a common law marriage? For example, in New Hampshire: “Persons cohabitating and acknowledging each other as husband and wife, and generally reputed to be such, for 3 years shall thereafter be deemed to have been legally married, until one of them dies.” (N.H. Stat. §457:39).  All it takes is for your girlfriend to claim that you have been referring to each other as husband and wife to start making marital claims and end up in court where your assets will be divested.  It’s best to know whether you are in a common law marriage state before you shack up.
  3. Divorce Disasters-  Let’s face it.  Over 50% of marriages are going to fail.  If you avoid the trap of marriage, you will avoid the disaster of divorce.  If you are a high earning Man and going through a divorce, you will face misery and financial ruin, unless you have a bullet proof pre-nup or an amicable split (virtually unheard of).   Divorce lawyers will also cost you a small fortune.  Add kids and custody disputes and your nightmare has just begun.
  4. Paternity/Child Support Suits – If you avoided marriage, but had children out of wedlock, you are still legally liable for your children until they are 18 years old.  If you have children and decide to split, your partner can sue you for child support.  You will dragged into court whenever your spouse gets a whiff that you are making more money.  Also, there will be no way to actually knowing if the money is being spent on your child or being misappropriated by your ex.
  5. Avoid False Accusations – Women are more prone to use the legal system against Men.  That is a fact, not a stereotype. Unfortunately, courts and lawyers are more than willing to allow that game to feed the multi-billion dollar divorce and criminal justice system. This means that if your girlfriend, wife or partner decides they really want to use the law against you, they can make false accusations to the police about domestic violence, sexual assault, rape and a myriad of other serious accusations that can ruin your life.  This is happening all the more frequently now as women have become accustomed to feeling “victimized” if the relationship does not go their way.  There are countless stories of ordinary and high profile Men whose lives have suffered from false accusations.

In conclusion, “going solo as a Man” does not mean that you are relegated to being single for the rest of your life.  Contrary to that, you may actually enjoy healthier and more fulfilling relationships without fear of being sued and having your life turned upside down by divorce and legal proceedings. If you desire to have children, you can also plan to have children with a “domestic partner” without getting married and plan your partnership accordingly.

 

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